Buy Your Own Martin Mystery
by lil noir neko
Summary: Have you ever said, "I wish I could hang out with Martin Mystery." Well, now is your chance. For ONLY 9.99 you can own a Martin Mystery Life Size Replica. Click here and find out how. Purely fan made


This is purely fan made. I do not own any of the characters or show but I thought it would be fun to try this.

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**Life Size Martin Mystery Doll**

Tired of watching _Martin Mystery _on TV and wondering "If only I could hang out with them," well today is your lucky day. For a limited time only we are offering life size dolls that behave and look like your favorite characters from _Martin Mystery. _On sale today, for the low price of $9.99 you can own your own life size version of Martin Mystery. This life size replica stands at his exact height with his spiky blonde hair and golden brown eyes. This Martin Mystery life size edition doll comes with clothes for summer, spring, winter and fall as well as the clothes on his back but hair spray is not included and a Motivational Speech kit. (Comes with this life size replica free of charge )

_**Please be aware: **_

This life size replica will spout random conspiracy theories at least 5 times in the day

Will spend a long time in the bathroom primping his hair (spiky hair like that is hard to do each day)

Requires enormous amounts of junk food including chips, candy and pizza

Attention from girls is required, doesn't matter what type this model will adapt

Should your life size replica get depressed for any reason read through the motivational speech manual for further instructions, it is required for you to read the manual

**Read the instruction manual before turning this product on**

**To turn on your Martin Mystery life size replica press the button at the back of its neck**

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_**If this doll should come into contact will the female species of his age when out in public, please read the directions below: **_

Have your model of the life size Martin Mystery tied to you with a leash, harness or rope

When out in public be prepared to be embarrassed, it will happen

If your life size replica does break free of the leash and hits on a girl please prepare yourself for:

Purchaser is Male: Be prepared to be slapped alongside your model if you don't stop him. Carry a first aid kit, or a Billy or Java life size replica to reassure your Martin Mystery Life Size Replica in the future or if another female his age (16) does not come around in the next ten minutes

Female Purchaser: Be prepared for a lecture you will **have **to listen to while your life size replica will ignore it. Have a motivation speech read after this as well.

If your life size replica refuses to leave the girl or girls drag it by the ear to a quiet calming place and give it a _Paranormal Monthly_ to occupy his time

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_**While on missions: **_

Your Martin Mystery life size replica will be responsible and be the leader of the group

If your Martin Mystery life size replica is hurt have a first aid kit ready

Be prepared to be left behind and when your replica comes home be prepared for slimy, muddy or other strange materials on his clothes that may dirty your house

Don't wait up for your life size replica, they could come back at any time

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_**Should your doll run into any other life size replicas please expect:**_

**Diana Lombard Life Size Replica**

That your Martin Mystery replica will start telling her about a crazy theory on gnome stealing socks in the laundry room and that the Diana Lombard replica will respond with a lecture using logic. This will result in your life size replica insulting her and being beaten with a book or other object, you may as well. **Have a first aid kit ready**

A brother and sister moment might come up, if so please let the moment finish otherwise only you will be beaten

If on missions your life size replica of Martin Mystery will protect the Diana Lombard life size replica – this is normal

**Marvin Life Size Replica**

Extreme bouts of jealousy that involves injury to the ego or physical body – Have first aid kit and motivational speech kit ready

If the two should spend a long period of time in the others presence be prepared for a long, drawn out argument for who is better. This will only end when you drag your Martin Mystery life size replica or a Diana Lombard life size replica is there

Diana Lombard life size replica will usually side with the Marvin life size replica

**It is best to keep the Marvin life size replica and Martin Mystery life size replica apart unless unavoidable**

**M.O.M Life Size Replica:**

Your life size of replica may say stupid quotes and sentences that anger the M.O.M life size replica

Accidents involving life size M.O.M experiments and business she is conducting

These could result in: Clones, extra arms, becoming miniaturized, almost crashing an entire fleet of alien ships, desks being snapped and general anger

General angry sentences ending in "MARTIN MYSTERY!" or "AGENT MYSTERY"

**If this is the case please have your life size Martin Mystery replica run through the portal, ****FAST**

**Other life size replicas:**

If your Martin Mystery life size replica encounters the Billy life size replica please expect high fives, a general and possibly fatal ego boost, the phrase "MARTY!" and an annoyed Diana Lombard life size replica as your Martin Mystery replica brags and gives horrible love advice

When dealing with the Java the Caveman life size replica please expect more horrible love advice, Martin Mystery life size replica providing possible wrong information and avoid having life size Martin Mystery doll giving Java life size replica technology, it will be destroyed

**Gerard Mystery Life Size Replica:**

Your Martin Mystery life size replica will most likely receive a lecture to improve his grades like the Diana Lombard life size replica

_IF_ your life size Martin Mystery does actually listen to the lecture and doesn't leave you to suffer through it alone your replica will most likely feel a significant self-esteem loss and his ego drop

**When this happens use your Motivational kit right away or else your Martin Mystery life size replica may be depressed for days**

If your Martin Mystery life size replica does not succeed in impressing the Gerard Mystery life size replica by saving him from a screaming white furry beast that can knock you out with a scream and wants to feed you to it's twin babies then just let the Gerard Mystery life size replica get kidnapped by a worm that eats it's prey and steals it's identity

If this is the case have your life size Martin Mystery replica crawl down the worms path, twist it's ears like a lynx to subdue it, turn it to stone using some type of means after it spits out the Gerard Mystery life size replica and escape to the surface

If the instructions have been followed thoroughly then this should result in your Martin Mystery life size replica and Gerard Mystery life size replica hugging, **DO NOT INTERUPT THIS MOMENT**

(The worm and white furry beast not included)

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_**DO NOT: **_

Over feed your Martin Mystery replica pizza or junk food, if you do it will result in sufficient debt

Too many video games may cause your Martin Mystery life size replica to become unresponsive and shut down, avoid too many video games

Do not deny your Martin Mystery life size replica his monthly _Paranormal Monthly_ or else you may find a destroyed room in search of change to buy it from a magazine stand or try an insane scheme that may cost you more money in the end

Do not let your Martin Mystery replica near a Jenny life size replica for too long, your replica may sulk for days and spend more of your money on a romantic scheme or a pick up line book

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Additional items for you to purchase:

Paranormal Monthly (Required purchase) $10.99 per month

Rope (Not Martin Mystery proof, buy at your own risk) $1.99

Martin Mystery proof:

Leash $5.99

Harness $10.99

Rope $9.99

Creature packs Not yet sold

Life Size fit in Your basement Centre Not yet sold

Life Size Diana Lombard Replica Not yet sold

Life Size Marvin Replica Not yet sold

Life Size Java Replica Not yet sold

Life Size Billy Replica Not yet sold

Life Size M.O.M Replica Not yet sold

Life Size Gerard Mystery Replica Not yet sold

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_Any additional expenses are your responsibility as are damages caused by your life size replica to you or anyone else. Damages to property are not covered and to be covered at your own cost. All of our life size replicas come with a life time but refunds are not given out. Please call 1 – 800 – MartinMMI for complications or repairs. Ship your doll to the address given on the order forms and your doll should be returned to you in a two week after the repair is complete. Thank you for your purchase. _


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